


My List

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adopted Children, Alcoholic John Laurens, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Merc, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Christian John Laurens, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Music, Christmas everything, Dragon John Laurens, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mermaid Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Multi, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Other, Police Officer Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Police Officer Hercules Mulligan, Prostitute Alexander Hamilton, Teacher Lafayette, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans John Laurens, Trans Male Character, Trans Male James Laurens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 18,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 25 Days of Christmas.A series of short Christmas drabbles each day when possible!Tags will update as each chapter is added!





	1. All I Want

It was the best thing John could ever ask to return home to. A long day at work, snapped at by multiple clients in fussy moods during the holidays over his graphics and editing skills. It wasn't particularly new that John would have to deal with irritating people belittling his work.

The holidays approaching rapidly made people far less patient with workers like him. It made him a million times more happy that he got to work from home.

Especially when he got to come home to this.

John just walked through the door, so tempted to drop his computer bag right there if not for the fact he knew it'd damage the expensive computer in the bag more than likely. He set it down, leaned it against the wall and took his shoes off, putting them down by the side of the door and calling for his girls as he followed the Christmas music filling the home from the kitchen and the smell of cookies and vanilla. Heart leapt into his throat upon seeing the girls he was looking for, in their pajamas. John couldn't find words, stood there in his jeans, sweater and jacket, gloves and scarf still on, cheeks and nose bright as he watched his sweet little seven year old freckly daughter dance around the kitchen with John's stuffed turtle he always kept around held close in her arms, long, braided hair swinging around a bit with her movements. And Martha, his beautiful, angel of a wife, hair braided down her back as well, in her softest pajama pants and one of John's - or Hercules'? - oversized sweaters on, an apron on as she danced around as well, occasionally taking one of Frances' hands and spinning her.

He didn't notice the tears pricking his eyes at first until they started to blur his vision so John raised his arm and wiped them away with his sweater sleeve, brushing off the emotions for now. He undid the scarf, left it around his neck and lifted Frances up into his arms when she danced closer to him. The squeal that followed alerted Martha to his presence - and John to the fact she had flour on her clothes and face. Frances did too, actually, but John was holding his giggling daughter close with no mind to the mess. The turtle was sort of squashed between them, but that was okay. Better than okay as Frances gasped, "Daddy!" and Martha giggled as well, stepping over and giving him a quick kiss, then John kissed Frances's forehead and set her down.

Then he was being pulled over, Martha making John dance with her as Frances excitedly bounced about the kitchen with the turtle.

 _I don't want to be anywhere else in the world_ , he decided as his lovely wife took the ends of his scarf in her hands, continued dancing and used it to keep him close, bumped noses with him when they both leaned in for a kiss at the wrong angle.

When the cookies came out of the oven, John set Frances on the counter and all three of them worked together to make Christmas trees, snowmen and holly. He loved his girls more than anything in the world.


	2. Merry Little Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow can be beautiful and fun to play in, but sometimes it caused more of a problem. Of course, problems always have solutions.

 

They had a nap. That was it. They got to the cabin they were spending the weekend at, lit the fire in the fireplace and changed into their cozy pajamas, drifted off to sleep snuggled up on the couch after the long drive early in the morning they had. Six was too early for any human to be awake. Then again, that was true until the clock hit twelve. Then it was an okay time for a human to be awake.

When they woke up though, they were cold. That was the first thing they noticed. The fire was out, and it was getting late at night. He suggested the blankets they had in the car. She pointed at the window and he froze. Shit. The snow completely covered the window. Jesus Christ, how much had it snowed in the few hours they were asleep?

A lot, apparently.

But after some exploration, Elizabeth and Dean found everything they needed in the cabin and thanked everything that was good for Sam ensuring everything was stocked and in it's proper place the last time he was there a week ago with Jess. So, with that, Elizabeth set to starting up the fire again, pulled out the biggest blanket there was in the closet and Dean investigated the kitchen for food. A loud, "Yes!" of excitement led Lizzy to dropping the blanket on the couch where she was sitting, going to see what pulled such an excited yell from her husband.

Dean looked oh so happy as he gazed at her, gesturing to the multitudes of ingredients he'd pulled out of cabinets and cupboards. Flour, sugar, vanilla, and like six bags of chocolate chips. That was how the two found themselves baking batch after batch of Christmas cookies, giggling, humming tunes, getting into the spirit. Some flour accidentally flicked off Dean's finger led to her hands wiping off on his shirt. By the time the next batch of cookies were in the oven and the previous ones taken out, the two were covered in flower, cheeks red and grins wide after their little play fight of flour that Lizzy totally won by the way.

When they were finally done, they had more cookies than they knew what to do with, had totally not eaten some of the chocolate chips out of the bag no siree why would they do that?

Dean and Lizzy curled up under the soft blanket after making sure the fireplace had enough wood in it to last a while so they could cuddle the night away, eating cookies off a good mound they'd piled onto the plate, more in the kitchen, and when Lizzy got up to use the bathroom, she came back with a pen and Dean had no clue where she'd gotten it. Just that her first order of business with it was to carefully draw a heart on his cheek and put LH in the center.

Dean did the same for her, a heart on the cheek with DW in the center, and soon, the two fell asleep again, plate of cookies half gone, blanket tucked around them as the fire kept the room nice and toasty. It was a great Christmas.


	3. Carols and Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who said Christmas can't be sweet?

Lafayette had a hard day at work. During holidays, people were demanding, impatient. Some even expected the poor man to be a mind reader. No, Susan, he doesn't know what lunch will be for your toddler today, apologies.  _Je suis désolé_ , Claire, I can't accept your schedule for your child as we already have a set schedule of play time, lunch, nap time, etc. No, Mandy, you cannot stay and observe the first hour of your child at daycare, yes I know you do not trust me with your child but this is what I am paid to do and I like kids, I promise your precious Holly will be just fine.

He was dead tired and then some by the time he got home hours later, a little past three in the afternoon. He had to wait for each and every parent to pick up the child. Some of them were less than kind or quiet, especially the ones that were irritated that the children all chose to stay outside and play under Lafayette's supervision until they arrived. That was fine. The kids had fun, and most of the children even hugged their temporary caretaker goodbye, excitedly saying a happy, "See you tomorrow, Laffy!" before skipping off to their parents. The parents may be irritating a lot of the time, but the smiles on the kids' faces made it worth it.

What truly, truly made all of this worth it was the sight that greeted him upon stepping inside the home he lived in with his husband. The sweet scent of treats in the kitchen, Christmas tunes filling their home, the tree up and in place, strung with lights and ornaments, all sorts of gifts stuck underneath it. He'd have to get the gifts he had hidden and add them to that growing pile underneath the tree. Lafayette gasped and grinned, scooping up his dog Nappie as the pup ran over to him, pressed a kiss to his fuzzy head and greeted the animal. He gently set Nappie down and headed to the kitchen, following the music and the smell.

Then he really stopped and smiled so brightly, so widely his cheeks hurt. Mistletoe hung in the doorway, George in jeans and a Christmas sweater, standing there scrolling something on his phone as he waited, timer beside him. Mistletoe hung above the counter and therefore him. Lafayette decided to make his presence known, stepping over softly and pushing George's hand with his phone down. He didn't jump, knew only Lafayette had a key, and happily accepted the sweet kiss he received from the Frenchman.

" _Bonjour, mon amour_." Lafayette greeted quietly, both of them sharing a soft smile and another peck. "Welcome back, dear. Want to help me with the cookies?" He asked, gesturing just slightly toward the oven, enjoying the way Lafayette's eyes just lit up at the thought. He nodded quickly as George knew he would and when the timer beeped after a couple more minutes of just holding each other and trading kisses, George took the tray out. He marveled at how Lafayette gasped and absolutely beamed at him for the shapes. Christmas trees, sugar cookie men rather than gingerbread, snowmen and some funny looking snowflakes.

George tried, and Lafayette was so happy to take out the frosting with him and carefully and meticulously decorate each and every one. It'd be a sweet Christmas, for sure.


	4. Last Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holiday dinners can and will be completely and utterly chaotic.

He hates the holidays.

Specifically, he hates having to go see family during the holidays. Well, let's be even more specific; he hates the crowds and the noise and the frustration and stress of having to go see them. He loves seeing them with all his heart. He hates the trip there.

This time, this time he has a group coming with. He thinks, as he sits uneasily in the plane, this might be far more bearable than usual as he shifts uncomfortably, hates flying, and one of his best friends Lafayette, in the seat beside him, takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. John relaxes and slumps back in his seat, lets his head loll to the side and rest against Lafayette's shoulder, enjoying the comfort his friend offered. He stayed awake for the moment, couldn't relax until the plane was in the air. He dozed a little though, blinked a bit sleepily when Lafayette released his hand, moved and buckled John in for him. That was okay. John didn't even notice the signal saying they had to. Thank god Laf did. He mumbled some vague thank you and rested his head back on Laf's shoulder, relaxed again as he took their hand once more.

John bit hard in his lip, gripped Laf's hand tight as the plane took off. He would never get used to that. He dozed off for a bit then, frazzled, needed to rest after being up nearly two days stressing over the upcoming dinner he had scheduled with his father over the phone. His dad and he did not have the best relationship, not even close. But for family, they did try to put differences aside. So many differences.

When he was nudged awake an hour later with the announcement, John was relieved they were going to land, that he had them all there by his side to handle seeing his family again. Alexander reached his hand back a bit from the seat in front of him and John took his hand, giving it a little squeeze while Lafayette held his other hand, the two grounding him while the plane landed. He was still a bit sleepy, out of it as they got off the plane. It didn't take long to find the overkill of a limo his father sent to pick them up so they'd all fit and get there in one piece. Alex laughed, John flushed and Lafayette and Hercules took the lead, leading their boys, Rachel and James Jr and Sr to the vehicle. Lafayette made John get in first, claiming he supposedly looked like he was going to fall over.

When everyone was in the car, no one minded John dozing against Laf after the amount of time he'd been up. John didn't function as well as Alexander on little sleep. Alexander functioned surprisingly well on four hours of sleep. John had about five in the past two days alone and he kept dozing off whenever he had a moment to rest. He was nudged awake fifteen minutes later by Alex, watched blearily as Lafayette gave Alexander such a look for it, apparently had claimed they could simply carry John inside. John mumbled that he'd be okay and they all got up and out of the car. The driver helped them when he could, but John refused his help, called him by name as he thanked him for his help and accepted Lafayette's hand instead. Laf kept an arm around him, Herc chuckling and patting John's back lightly as they all got out and headed up to the door.

John was the one to knock on the door, shrieked when it was flung open and he was tackled by a ten year old shrieking out, "Jacky!"

He groaned low, but grinned up at his startled friends, wrapped his arms around the girl and squeezed her as she laughed and hugged her brother close. "Jacky, you're home!" She yelled again and John snorted, sat up slowly and kissed the top of her head. "Yes, _princesa_ , I'm home. You gotta let me up, 'kay? No fair keepin' me from Harry, Jay and Patsy." Mary huffed, pouted childishly but she let John up, took his hand and dragged him in without a second thought to his companions. All John could really do was helplessly glance back at them with a sheepish, bright eyed smile as he followed his sister; an apology for being unable to take his hand away from her.

Alex scoffed but smiled fondly and Hercules shrugged and followed after them, Lafayette immediately following and Alexander hesitating before James pushed him along, Rachel laughing softly as she took her youngest's hand and the four followed them inside the house.

It was pretty, well decorated, but the brightest part of the home was the mess of the living room. Not that it wasn't a real mess, because it absolutely was; toys and paper and crayons scattered, a good sized Christmas tree in the corner, gifts stacked under it, so many they didn't fit under the tree altogether. The couch pillows weren't even on the couch, the blanket that usually went over the back slung over the arm. The real light of the room was the middle, where Mary dragged John over only for him to be tackled by Henry Jr and James both, knocking their brother on his ass and cuddling him. Martha had run over quick too, and he was sitting there laughing as he was hugged by his siblings. Even Henry Sr in one of the chairs cracked a smile at the sight, greeted John quietly and got a small smile and a quiet greeting back.

It was rather civil, calm and quiet. No matter the differences, Henry missed his son as well. It was him that chuckled, gestured to the couch, told John's companions to take a seat on the couch and rest after the trip. They did, watched John and his family in amusement till the group calmed down. Ten minutes of everyone sitting in comfortable silence before Martha showed them all to their guest rooms.

The squad, on their request to Martha, got to share a room. She'd seen John when he had nightmares. Seen him when he'd came home the few times he did. Two a room, they could switch so long as they didn't... Do anything. And as long as Henry didn't know. Or mind. Either or. They went to bed for the day. For the night, Hercules stayed with John and and Alexander with Lafayette. Rachel and James of course shared a room, and after excitement and pleading from the kids, James Jr got roped into staying with them. Had they had their way, they would all stay in one room until Christmas, so they could all have time together, but they were all tired. Needed a break, their alone time before things got as hectic as they knew they would.

john spent the night cuddled up to Hercules, relaxed as his friend held him tight. No nightmares plagued anyone that night, and they all enjoyed a good night's rest. The next morning, very few woke up early. Even Henry Sr opted to sleep in. That left Alexander, Lafayette, Mary and James up. They didn't know what to do, woke up too early, couldn't get back to sleep. Alexander and Lafayette got dressed, made their way downstairs, smiled to see James and Mary in their pajamas, cuddling and watching TV. Mary was sat on the sixteen year old's lap, James braiding her hair while cartoons played softly. Lafayette strolled over, leaned over the side and asked quietly what they want for breakfast. The two didn't jump, or look startled at all by the sudden appearance. Mary glanced over and quietly asked if they could have pancakes. They nodded and went to the kitchen, started up on breakfast. Alexander took a seat beside them, started a quiet conversation while the girl focused wholeheartedly on her cartoon.

He started a conversation, got to know James quietly. When Alexander called him Jamie when talking to him, James froze. Didn't respond and got a weird look from Alexander. A look of realization a minute later at how uncomfortable James looked. Alexander asked Mary quietly if she'd go check on Lafayette and help them and she beamed and got up, excited to go help Jacky's friend make breakfast. They were charming and seemed so nice. Alone, James seemed almost frightened, had no good excuse to leave. But then Alex ran a hand through his own hair, sighed and smiled. Told James he understood, that he was the same and James' eyes widened. He quietly asked to be called James - not in front of Henry or John of course. Alexander agreed and grinned a little. Asked James if he was okay, didn't mind when he saw the teen actually tearing up at the use of the name.

When Lafayette and Mary came out, each holding a different plate of pancakes for Alex and James, both smiled wide to see Alex relaxed into the couch, James curled up under his arm and hugging him as the two watched the cartoons. They sat up properly to eat though, got comfortable and both were happy to start eating after Mary and Lafayette got settled on their other sides as well. It was a calming, relaxing morning.

During the afternoon, everyone got up and it was a bit... Chaotic. Lafayette, Hercules, Alexander and Alexander's family were rather surprised to see the Laurens all going about their day together. John helped Martha make lunch, and they watched in awe as the two walked around and almost bumped into each other multiple times. Almost like a dance only the brother and sister knew, a routine they had burned into their heads since they were little. James, Harry and Mary playing in the living room, roughhousing and laughing and having fun while John, Martha and Henry easily stepped over them when needed before everyone was settled.

And dinner? Hell. Complete, utter hell. Dinner was good; Henry, Rachel and James Sr all worked together to make dinner while the others set the table and got settled. It was non stop, constant chatter and teasing between everyone, jokes and stories and smiles all around. Alexander got in a political discussion with Henry, causing John to drop his head in his hands, but he laughed softly as everyone argued and tossed in their opinions on it except James Jr, James, Mary, Henry Jr and Martha. It was funny though, watching the chaos unfold further into the night as the little arguments kept up, back and forth. John felt his heart melt in his chest to see everyone together though. So maybe this time he was a little happy for having come back home for the holidays - with his favorite companions.


	5. Christmas Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams do come true.

John hadn't known a loving family for a long time. All he knew was Henry, young siblings conditioned to think like him, a late mother that was his only protection. Henry grew very sick of John very quickly, and after an unexpected drive from a surprisingly happy Henry, John found himself abandoned in unfamiliar streets, nothing but the little bit of money he'd saved up for a few months.

From there, he'd quickly gotten an addiction. Alcohol. Something that stopped him from thinking. Stopped him from feeling. Or maybe made him feel too much and was simply unable to process it. From there, he didn't talk much. He pointed, he gestured, he signed. He met someone on the streets after the man had a particularly difficult... client. Alexander, a prostitute, both teenagers barely made enough money to live. John took care of him, gave him water, cleaned him up. Worried about this kid his age when he should've been worrying about himself. It didn't take long for the two to become inseparable. When they got in trouble, they did it together. Had fun together, drank together. Took care of each other.

John didn't speak still. He did occasionally, when they were alone. Just the two of them, a quiet moment. John told Alexander his story. He didn't mind that Alex wouldn't tell him his - that was his business. Laying together, John would breathe, 'look at the stars' and Alexander would look up at the twinkling lights in the sky with him. Exploring together, John would hiss, 'be careful!' and Alexander would take more care and focus on his surroundings rather than blindly following his companion. Curled up to sleep, John would whisper, 'I'm glad you're here', and Alexander would nod his agreement. It wasn't, "I'm glad you got tossed out like me", it was, "I'm glad we found each other. I'm glad we're together. I'm glad in this hell we live in, I have a friend".

They got in trouble again, found two police officers that cared more about the two than anyone had in a long time. Took care of them after someone got too close to Alexander, after John decked the guy when he refused to back off, called his best friend a tease. It led them to an interrogation room. To a tall, dark skinned, curly haired officer taking extra care to dab a wet cloth at their injuries and bandage them up. John wouldn't look at him at first after drawing the man's face for them to search for the creep. But then the officer went to his side after Alexander and took care of John as well. John felt tears stinging his eyes, but he didn't fight him. He let his eyelids drift closed and accepted the soft attention that only ever came from his dear Alexander.

Months later, they'd found places for them to live. Alexander got to be fostered by friends of Lafayette and Hercules - Martha and George Washington. Alexander teared up but stayed on his guard. He still found himself quickly trusting them for how much they cared. John, he got to stay with Lafayette and Hercules. He had issues. He'd wake up screaming, he'd go pick a fight when he was alone, he'd drink in secret. Lafayette and Hercules quickly put a stop to it, got him help. At first, he spoke to Lafayette. Soft, raspy words from an underused voice when they were alone. It made it easier for Lafayette to help him when he had nightmares. Hercules dealt with the drinking problem with John. They helped him kick the habit. And when stress came back, when that guilt and sadness and fear all kicked him to his knees again, they found him curled into the couch fighting back tears rather than rushing out for alcohol and a good fight. He clung to them, sobbed his heart out, let them in and let them try to stitch that wound in him.

When Christmas rolled around, John was less than enthusiastic. He was down, quiet, back to pure silence. Lafayette, Hercules and Alexander formed a plan though, dragged George and Martha into it. George and Martha took John to finally get him more winter clothes. John came back bundled up and looking more content. Alexander took him to get Christmas gifts, both of them holding a good amount of money from their foster parents. They came back with items in paper bags so no one could see and Alexander ran to the living room to get George and Martha's help wrapping. John hid in his room the rest of the day. Lafayette dragged John into baking Christmas cookies with him, felt relieved, accomplished when he caught a small, fond smile pulling at the corner of John's mouth as he decorated cookies with him. Hercules had John help him decorate the house, teased him and laughed the whole time.

He'd tickle John's side as he went by for more decorations, danced with his foster son a little when Lafayette started playing Christmas music, felt his heart melt when they finally pulled laughter from the boy. Finally, Christmas was just around the corner. Everyone came over, the Washington's, Alexander and the Schuyler's. They all sat around, passing gifts all around. Finally, it was John's turn. Lafayette gave him paper rolled up and tied off with a silk purple ribbon in a bow. John looked confused. Martha took out her phone camera and started taking a video.

John pulled the end of the ribbon to let it unravel, didn't want to cut such a pretty thing. Smiled faintly at the ribbon itself, enjoying the color and set it down. Lafayette took a mental note of that, as did Alexander and Hercules.

When John read the paper, he found himself grateful he was sitting down. He slowly raised it to cover his face from the others, from the camera as he read it closely. They gave him a few minutes. Hercules stepped over and gently took it from his hands. John let him have it, frozen still, eyes wide. Tears pouring down his freckled, red cheeks. Lafayette cooed softly and stepped over as well, crouching in front of John from his place on the chair. After a moment, John found himself clinging to Lafayette. Moved quickly to throw his arms around his neck and hold on tight, shaking as he held in sobs, let himself cry when Hercules hugged him from behind and held onto Lafayette as well, squishing him between them. It was a good forty-five minutes until he stopped crying, Martha stopping the video when John was squished between them.

They leaned back, John hiccuping and sniffling, Lafayette whispering words of endearment and care, praises and promises of protection and love. He whimpered softly and looked at Herc, found that same teary eyed smile Lafayette had and John closed his eyes as his foster father - his _real father_ \- wiped away the tears on his cheeks and promised him, cross his heart, that this was no joke. That they wanted him.

When Lafayette and Hercules sat back down, Alexander went and sat on John's lap, something so normal between the two. All of them watched curiously as the two friends got settled, over a year of pain, secrets and love between them that caused something like that to be something so normal. John clung onto him, hid his face in his shoulder and relaxed as Alex's fingers carded through his hair, and everyone kept opening gifts. It was the best Christmas John ever had. Especially after he heard that on Alexander's birthday, George and Martha did the exact same thing. They finally had their homes.


	6. Grown Up Christmas List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to accept being grown up.

Alexander had trouble with the holidays. He hadn't celebrated holidays since the hurricane. Since his brother left, since he lost his mother, since his father walked away. Since Peter couldn't handle the pressure of taking care of another. He was all alone when he came to New York with the help of so many people, lost and confused, didn't know what he was going to do. He did hear one name that stuck though, found Aaron Burr. Somehow made friends with the overly indecisive man.

That night was funny to think back on. Burr took him for drinks, both getting to know each other as they sat at the bar, chatted, argued lightly, laughed. Soon though, Alexander noticed three guys at one table laughing away, pushing each other, trading stories of men and women, old days of their childhood and the more recent days. The three were obviously very good friends, started teasing Aaron when they noticed him, and Alexander couldn't hold back a laugh as he watched Aaron look oh so irritated with the three of them, tried to ignore them to no avail. There was just no ignoring those three drunken idiots. Of course, at a joking jab from Laurens, Alexander tossed in his opinion on the matter and gained their attention as well.

Aaron looked rather done with the entire situation as their curiosity went to him but Alexander took it in nervous stride and made fast friends. It was a nice night.

And now, four years later, they were all preparing for the holidays once more. Holidays were lonely, only seemed to provide bad memories to Alexander the more he thought about it. He'd always spent the day alone, never got to be around loved ones or get gifts or decorate and see lights and smiles and hear laughter and music. It was jarring. Especially when the snow began to fall.

This was all John's idea. Alex was moping around at home in his apartment he shared with John, had for the past three years, curled under a blanket and trying to stay warm as he watched Christmas movies in pure boredom. John burst in suddenly though, made Alex jump and look at him in wide eyed surprise. John was dressed in quite the Christmas sweater, and after Alexander took a moment to read it, hurt himself snorting. A black sweater with red and green writing on it, _I'm full of Christmas spirit. Wait no. I meant vodka. I'm filled with vodka._ Alex laughed and smiled faintly at John, raising an eyebrow at him. He asked what he wanted, was surprised to see John grin wide and hold up a sweater for Alex to see. A bright red sweater with white writing that read, _Feliz navidad, putos_. John puppy dog eyed Alex into wearing it after Alex stopped laughing, cheeks red.

That's how the rest of the day went. John begged and pleaded, puppy dog eyed him into doing what he asked. Lafayette and Hercules came over hours later, got Alex in the car to go on an adventure. The adventure was at Laf's place apparently. Alexander guessed it was another drinking night, was surprised when the three brought him in to see a tree all set up with all sorts of decorations. Then John was handing him one. Alexander looked at it and got choked up. An ornament, for sure. For the tree. But it was a circle, with the flag of St Kitts and Nevis. Seeing Alex in tears, Hercules took over, wrapped an arm around his shoulder and steered him over the tree, coaxed him to look up and watched his surprise to see different specific ornaments. A French flag, an Irish flag, a silver circle with a blue tree on it and it read 'South Carolina'. _We've all done it_ , Hercules stated quietly, squeezed Alexander close to his side. Lafayette soon after he came to America and started living with Hercules, John a year after he'd gotten to know his two best friends. There were others then, he realized. A golden star, a blue bird, a red heart. _The girls placed their ornaments together_ , Lafayette offered, _the first time we invited them over for Christmas_.

 _They bought their own ornaments and placed them_. John pointed out he knew Alex wouldn't want to get his own, would refuse. So they went ahead and got him something. Hoped he liked it, asked Alex to stay with them for Christmas, to watch movies, bake cookies, buy gifts. Celebrate with them; they aren't celebrating the holiday, they're celebrating their love and friendship for each other and everyone they dared call family. Kept their Christmas meaning to how _together_ they all were, how _close_ and _loved_ they were.

Alexander hung the ornament on the tree above Johns, next to Lafayette's, Hercules' directly below Lafayette's. It was perfect.


	7. Cold Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's important to stop and enjoy the little things.
> 
> \- friends as Hamilton characters -

Mae Madison liked to keep to himself, didn't like Christmas anymore. He had issues with it, bad memories that shattered his love of it. It was nice to see all his friends get excited for it, and he simply laughed when he half heartedly explained the situation to his dear friend Eliza Schuyler, got called Scrooge in response. He could live with that. That's what he was; someone who hated Christmas, who couldn't particularly stand all the lights and snow and joy. That was fine. He did his thing, and she could do hers.

As the month began and Mae grew more and more exhausted, almost even lost the will to get up in the morning, he still did, he still got up to speak to his friends, laugh and spend time with them. It was nice. Some of them were silly, maybe a bit out of their minds sometimes, such as Connor Lee and Eliza's sister Jess Schuyler. They were utterly ridiculous and Mae loved them with all his heart. It was nice to keep to himself to simply write or draw, watch movies or TV shows he needed to catch up on. Mae preferred silence, a few people to a big crowd, so on so forth. He was a ball of anxiety when it came to loud noise and big crowds, simply couldn't focus.

It was nice to curl up with Eliza a few times under his Christmas blanket and marathon cheesy Christmas movies with her. His best friend Micki Jefferson was a huge mess, just as he himself was, but he sometimes managed to drag them into it as well. It was nice to cuddle with two of his best friends with movies. One of the best activities he could possibly think of, one of the most calming things to do.

When Christmas finally rolled around, Mae started keeping more quiet, opted for a brief phone call with each of them while they were at John Laurens' place for Christmas. It was nice to hear their voices, but he didn't feel sad he was alone. He got to curl up with his cat Otis throughout the day and watch movies.

And the next day, he got each one of them to stop by and gave them all gifts. Jess got a pretty silver necklace, with a circular charm that read ' _I debate like a girl so try to keep up_ '. Connor got a silver bracelet with two hearts hooked together and a purple gem on each side of the hearts. Micki, they got a necklace that had a jeweled knotted key. They gave Mae a confused look, only to huff and call him gay when he showed them the matching heart necklace with a keyhole in the center around his own neck. Laughed and hugged him when he said only someone who had known him for nine years would know how to do such a thing. Eliza got a necklace as well, it seemed to be the theme but no one seemed to mind. Mae gave her a gold necklace with a gold star as the charm, and another chain hanging off the sides of the necklace to hang just a touch lower with a moon hanging from that chain. John simply got a white hoodie that read in black letters between the snowflakes and designs, ' _Homo 4 The Holidays_ '. Frances Hamilton got a sweater as well, black that read in big red and green letters, ' _The best way to spread Christmas cheer is being cute and hella queer_ '.

Once the main squad was dealt with, Mae accepted hugs from each and every one of them before they left to go about their day. Mae didn't mind, he had many more gifts to pass out. For Mylah Lafayette, a red hoodie with blue Christmas designs, such as two cats playing with a tree on one line and reindeer jumping on another. For Bea Schuyler, a plush pink Pusheen cat. For Pip Hamilton, a soft plush puppy. For M Hamilton, a stuffed weed leaf as a joke, but then a silver necklace with a silver charm that read ' _Clone Club_ ' and for Hardy, an old Nancy Drew book and a Supernatural charm bracelet.

It was a good Christmas, and seeing all the smiles on their faces made him smile. Couldn't wait til next year.


	8. Drummer Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'll always have faith in something.

Laurens didn't celebrate holidays or birthdays anymore. The moment the man got away and became famous, he stopped. As if it were some act of childish rebellion that stuck around into his twenties. People asked why; fans, workers, band mates, interviewers. He always gave the same open, honest answer. _I want nothing that connects me to my father_.

Eventually, with the help and encouragement of Lafayette and Hercules, the drummer decided to declare his birthday November fourth. No one questioned why he did this, or if it was even true. The only ones that knew the truth were Lafayette and Hercules and he planned to keep it that way. Holidays grew lonely when everyone he'd ever known celebrated it while he himself kept himself back, refused to do such a thing.

He met Alexander early January, and it didn't take long for the young man to befriend the trio and get an offer to come with them on their road trip in the fan. Alexander hesitated before agreeing rather enthusiastically. Not only were these three men an in, they were good, kind men in their own ways. Lafayette mothered them; styling hair, waking up in the morning, forehead kisses goodnight and the tough love and fierce protectiveness only a mother could have. Hercules was like a father to them, or John said so anyway; he was big and brave, looked terrifying. But deep down, the guy was a marshmallow, John had said. He was one of the best people to hang out with, especially when you were sad. Alexander decided John was like a brother, even if he felt a fluttering in his stomach when John was near. John was silly, a kind man, yes. But he was ridiculous. When Alexander got sick, John sat there either sharing his phone and app games with Alexander or telling him goofy jokes until he smiled.

When he was scared, when the thunder rolled in, John hugged him tightly to his chest and rocked him, hummed a tune and assured him it was just like his drumming and that Alexander was safe and John would protect him. When he was happy, John was always more than happy to be there simply to just clap hands, give each other a thumbs up when things went right or even simply let Alex leap onto his back for John to carry him around for a while. It was funny. It was great.

When Alexander looked John dead in the eye one night after Hercules and Lafayette passed out, murmured, "I'm transmale. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

John moved his blanket off his own shoulders silently, draped it over Alex's and kissed his forehead, whispering against him, "Don't apologize for something you were scared about. I'm not upset." Alex felt like some of that weight was off his chest, relieved for it.

When John was twenty-six and lost almost all contact information from the three dorks for whatever reason when they came back. Christmas rolled around, and they pulled up at the sidewalk just as John was trudging back toward the apartment steps, shoulders slumped. He froze when Alexander hugged him so tightly however, stood still, didn't say a word. Melted when Alex said they wanted him to spend Christmas at their place instead.

It made John a lot happier to be surrounded by a few people you know, it made him happier to get to sit there cross legged at Lafayette's apartment with only himself, Lafayette, Hercules and Alexander, each trading gifts to each other and laughing at whatever they got. He'd always believe in them.


	9. Light Of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter is the perfect time for hot chocolate and cookies

Thomas had waited all day. He and Gilbert were going to bake together - had planned ahead to ensure they had the icing, the dough, the cookie cutters. But Lafayette themself insisted they hand make the dough and Thomas hadn't had it in him to argue. Wouldn't have argued regardless. They were excited, they were happy, and he had to admit, it sounded fun. Messy, but fun.

He entertained himself with a book he loved, sat on the couch as he waited and looked up the second he heard the door open. Watched fondly as they rushed in, possibly more excited than he was. Or perhaps they were simply just as excited and Thomas simply didn't show it in such a... Burst of energy as they do. Regardless, he set his book down, accepted and returned the quick kisses before swatting their arm and pointing at the still open door, fond smile taking over at the laughed out, "Désolé, Thoma'." before they rushed back over to shut the door while Thomas got up, stretched and immediately wandered off to the kitchen to get started while they took their coat and shoes off.

They were silly. They were definitely just as, if not more excited to make this mess as they hurried into the room and beamed at their boyfriend. He grinned right back, gave them a kiss before the real fun began. Eggs, sugar, flour, all sorts of ingredients pulled out, a recipe book laid open with the cookies recipe right there for them to read off so nothing was messed up in the process.

And if the kitchen became a bit... Rather... _Messy_ , because a certain Virginian flicked flour at them, well, who wanted to get between them? They were tasked with cracking eggs and mixing in sugar while Thomas dealt with butter and sugar. Soon, Lafayette and Thomas put the two together and if they stared at Thomas just a bit too long, looking him up and down as he mixed in the dough, who was there to tell on him? Who was Thomas to tell Lafayette he'd seen the looks, that they weren't subtle about it? Of course, he wasn't one to tell them to stop when the attention from someone he loved so much was so nice and warmed him so well.

Of course he let them taste test the dough. It was a necessity of cooking, wasn't it? Even if they laughed at him for the smile and wiped some dough off on his face from their finger. Even if they licked it off right after.

Cutting the cookies into Christmas trees, Santa hats and snowmen went by rather quickly with both of them working together despite the distractions they offered each other from trying to bake together. But as silly as each distraction was, as much time as it took from the true baking and the time it took for them to have cookies, it was fine. There was no real issue. They both knew it as they paused between both of them cutting cookies and shared a smile. A fond, sweet smile full of love, full of fondness, grateful they got to spend the holidays together. It totally wasn't Thomas who turned on the radio. It definitely wasn't Lafayette who started trying to sing each and every Christmas song that came on to Thomas, especially after the cookies were in the oven.

It was nice to dance around the kitchen together, that warm, soft, festive feeling of the approaching holiday taking full effect as they laughed together, danced, Thomas spinning Lafayette a few times and Lafayette returning the favor excitedly.

Not to mention trying to ice cookies while dizzy.


	10. Joy To All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Singing loud for all to hear.

Eliza didn't understand human things. She was a mermaid. She lived in the sea with other people of her kind, with the fish and sea. All types of people - from sharks to jellyfish. But one day, her curiosity about humans went wrong. She'd gotten hurt, found herself on the shore. Found herself saved by two humans.

John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton. The two were close, best friends. Inseparable. They did separate, though. When necessary. When Eliza was in a tub full of water, they'd leave at separate times to get Eliza what she needed. Bandages, food, drinks. Little things to sate her curiosity. She stayed around a long time, though. Even after she recovered and was let out to go home. Eliza came back time and time again and Alex or John would pick her up, carry her around. Get her a wet towel and bring her with them on their adventures of walking around town or going home. People were awed, but no one had the nerve to take her from the two. John could knock someone's lights out easy, Alexander could make them the most shamed human being in the town let alone the state, so they let them be. She made friends easy. She was the sweetest. Once after her tail dried a bit too much, her tail turned into normal human legs after a flash of light and though awed and shocked by this, they let it be and taught her more.

When Christmas rolled around, Eliza was curious and awed by everything. Stumbling around with Alex, John or both by her sides, holding her hands, teaching her about ornaments, lights, candies and traditions. She loved everything about it. When she discovered the smaller tree in their home, all decorated, lit up, gifts under it, she sat there for half an hour, watching the lights, feeling the tree, the ground, the ornaments and running a finger along the gifts. Alexander sat with her, taught her all about why they wrap up presents and how fun it is to decorate the tree. He asked Eliza if she'd like to help put it up next year. She immediately agreed.

John went and sat on her other side, offered her a cup of hot cocoa. Whipped cream, marshmallows making a smiley face in the mug and making Eliza laugh so sweetly. Music to their ears. She was so happy to learn about human holidays, Christmas in particular. The holiday of giving, of seeing smiles and hearing laughter and being together.

Alexander got Eliza a blue mermaid tail blanket for her to have when she has her legs. John got her a shell necklace. Eliza was utterly delighted with both and put the blanket on before letting John put the necklace on her. She asked them to teach her more about holidays and human things. They agreed.

 


	11. Coldest Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even dragons could get cold.

Lafayette was still getting used to having three mates. It was easier to ignore such things like mates and instinct being only half dragon himself, that was fine. Hercules, as the only human in the polyamorous relationship, had no worries about things such as mates and instincts. He simply did his best to take care of the numb skulls.

Alexander, a half dragon as well, however more on the defective side, didn't worry much either. He had more things such as his poisonous spit that poisoned himself as well to worry about. Things far more worrisome than the animal instincts of their dragon sides. John. John was a full dragon. He had the full brunt of it, far too protective and doting on his boyfriends. Checked on them more than was needed, made total nests out of towels, blankets and clothes occasionally when it got into the colder seasons. Lafayette, Hercules and Alexander had to admit the nests were so warm as they all cuddled in a messy tangle of limbs, John making sure his arms were both draped over all of them, skin considerably hot to the touch as he used the magic he had, warmed himself up for them. He was the best to cuddle when October rolled around.

Now, though, Lafayette was on a trip with Alexander; a business trip from their boss George Washington. That left John and Hercules home alone. They hadn't been left alone too often, of course it was the slightest bit strange, new. It almost made Hercules laugh to see the dragon sulking on the couch in the middle of December, obvious shivers running down his spine. He wasn't warming himself up, and after ten minutes of silence, Hercules scooted over and wrapped an arm around John.

He wasn't surprised in the slightest that John took that as permission to wrap himself around Hercules. An actual purr rumbled In John's chest, faint as he leaned on Herc first before worming his way into his lap, wrapping his arms and legs around Hercules and snuggling up as close to him as he could. "Cold?" Herc asked softly, teasingly against John's forehead as he pressed a couple kisses there and felt them returned along his neck and collarbone. "Mhmmm... Much better now." John murmured, letting himself warm up comfortably. Hercules couldn't contain the sigh of comfort and even relief for John keeping him warm as well. It was never a bad thing.

"Will... Will Alex and Laffy be home soon?" John suddenly asked quietly, right by Herc's ear and felt more than saw him nod. "Yeah. Don't worry, okay? They'll be alright. They'll be home in a couple'a days and you can do your... Weird nesting thing and we can all sleep the weekend away together." John leaned back to look at Herc, eyes wide, but he could see the obvious delight, that sparkle in John's eyes as he thought over. "Thank you." John said, before basically smothering Hercules with kisses. He could live with drowning in kisses by his personal furnace.


	12. All Ye Faithful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Religion can make things difficult for some people.

John came from an overly religious family. Spent his whole life in a church almost, heard all the songs, all the prayers, all the teachings between the preacher and his own father. Christmas was about Jesus, you have to go to church every Sunday no exception, so on so forth.

Now, John knew some people had a better experience. For some, it was fine, some embraced it, liked it and believed. Some didn't believe but simply humored it, families with a looser grip on their religions and the religion of their children, and those who firmly believed, no exceptions. And unfortunately, John was one with the latter. As he became a teenager, talked more to his classmates, he found he didn't believe. Not really. Or maybe he did a little, or did fully and someone else's words were getting into his head?

It was a struggle. It was hard to get over, but he never uttered a word to it to anyone. Especially, god forbid, his father. That was fine. He got by fine. He went to church, he said his prayers, he occasionally said grace, kept a rosary in his messenger bag and so on. There was no end to it. One day at eighteen, John saw the rosary in his bag and found himself so, so tired. Went about his day like nothing was wrong. When he graduated, Henry sent him off to law school.

Had to be a lawyer, had to go into politics, had to do his father proud, had to hear him say it at least once. College all in all was fine. John would have much preferred to major in medicine or art, but Henry wouldn't hear a word of it, which was utterly disappointing, but it was okay.

Years went by since those disappointing holidays. Now he woke up in a pile every morning. Lafayette at his back, arms wound around his waist, Johns tucked against his own chest. Alex in front of him, arms wound around him as well with Hercules spooning Alex as well. A whole tangle, a knot, even, something tight tight, glued, taped, couldn't come loose even if you tried.

Some days John would squirm out of bed, needed time to breathe, and today was one of those. He squirmed away slowly from the three, relieved Lafayette only frowned a little at the absence of warmth - John felt the disappointment too - and he simply cuddled close to Alexander and Hercules instead. John nodded his satisfaction and walked out of their room in his pjs, going to make hot cocoa. Found himself sipping cocoa and staring out the window at six in the morning because he needed to breathe by himself, to relax, to watch the snow fall as they all eagerly waited Christmas. Or, _they_ , specifically, eagerly awaited Christmas.

Arms around his waist made him jump, a gasp escaping him, but he was hushed and he simply relaxed, setting the cup down on the counter so he could turn to Lafayette and wrap his arms around his waist, snuggle in close. "Come back to bed, love." Lafayette whispered and John found himself nodding despite uttering, "I don't want Christmas to come." That got his boyfriend to pause, a silence took over before his head was peppered with kisses and a quiet, sleepy voice filled his ears, the words sounding almost like his mother speaking to him from so, so long ago. "I know you don't like it, my love. We won't force you to celebrate, but we'd love to have you snuggle with us and watch movies when it's here."

John nodded again and back to bed they went. Alex even sleepily inquired as to their disappearance, but when John didn't respond, he didn't push it and simply hugged John close, watched Lafayette snuggle in behind him as well so they could all return to the sweet dreams they had been previously having, as if never interrupted at all.


	13. Deck The Halls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't any fun unless you couldn't be silly.

Hercules was frustrated. Found himself more often than not stopping in place and taking a deep, slow breath to soothe the frustration and stress with the mess around him.

Lafayette adored Christmas. He loved every last thing about it, decorating everything, baking cookies, playing music at all hours of the day unless they slept.

Alexander loved it too. More often than not, he was getting into mischief or helping Lafayette decorate, made his tall boyfriend pick him up to put up mistletoe in doorways.

John hated it. He didn't like the holiday in and of itself. Maybe hate was too strong a word. He could appreciate it, but he didn't celebrate. He'd always help them though.

Hercules loved his friends, he did. Alexander and his boyfriend went nuts around Christmas which dragged he and his own boyfriend John into it, made them decorate, ice cookies, sing songs poorly, watch movies they didn't want to watch over and over and over until the two got tired or left to do... Other things in their room of the shared apartment.

Finally, Herc had it as the four all walked home from a group day out, visiting the Schuyler's, hanging out at the library, checking out the park. Alex loudly sang a Christmas song as they walked home, Lafayette attempting to sing along despite his accent and his getting roughly half the lyrics wrong. Herc and John, a few steps behind them, stopped. Or, well, Hercules stopped and put an arm around John to keep him from stepping forward too, answered the smaller man's confused look with, "I don't want to hit you on accident."

John sputtered, ready to talk Herc out of hitting Alexander and Lafayette but he had something else in mind. Quickly, Hercules got a snowball balled up in his gloved hands , silently thanked god the snow was considerably deep after a week of it on and off and John understood, an amused little smile quirking at his lips that warmed Herc's heart as he smiled back before approaching Alex and Laf quickly. He hid his hand behind his back, tapped Alex's shoulder to make him stop, raise an eyebrow at the grin on his best friend's face. "Yo, Ham, gonna chill with the music any time soon? You're overdoing it." He stated rather bluntly, pleased with John's snorted laugh and attempts to stop it, Laf's soft laughter joining in as Alexander scoffed indignantly.

"No way, that's what the season's about!"

"That's what I thought."

"Wh-" Suddenly Hercules's hand was in Alex's face. Not too hard, of course. He didn't truly hit him. But he absolutely slammed the snow into Alex's face just hard enough to knock him on his ass into the rest of the snow. Lafayette laughed harder, shrieked when John tackled him into the snow, a hand just barely managing to grab Herc's coat to yank him into the snow as well. Laughter filled the air, especially as Herc sat up, only to be tackled by an equal parts amused and furious Alexander.

"What are you mad for?" Herc asked with a silly grin and Alexander once looked confused, shrieking and laughing as John yanked him back into his lap and thus the snow once more, laughter muffled into the back of his coat. "What do you mean?" Alex asked, fury fading quick with the affection and having people he cared for with him. Sputtered when he was smothered with snow by Hercules again, thus shoving he and John both further into the snow, making them both shriek as snow got into their shirts, Lafayette joining in covering them with snow. "I decked your halls, Hamilton!"

And that's how they went home covered head to toe in snow.


	14. That's Christmas To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holidays are stressful. Good thing he has people to help him unwind.

John got stressed easily with holidays. The shopping, the baking, the gift wrapping. Lines, people, crowds, screaming and shouting, shoving needlessly. Stress and anxiety became one.

Holidays, though, they had a certain magic to them. John's magic? The Laurens.

it was nice, when he was fully finished with shopping, when everything was wrapped, boxed into one big box with his name on it, red and green reindeer sweater on, tugging off his gloves as an announcement passed to buckle themselves up as the plane was taking off. He hated flying, but he knew he'd survive it. He'd live to see tomorrow. Specifically, he'd live to see them.

What surprised him was when he was finally out, when he was _there_ , he didn't notice a driver with his name. He noticed a grown, curly haired and freckly woman standing there in a matching sweater with a little black haired girl on her shoulders two teenage boys by her sides, one freckly with black curly hair and the other not at all freckled with straighter black hair. He knew his family from a mile away and darted over, immediately pulled into a hug by all of them. Careful of Mary on Martha's shoulders, pressed kisses to her cheek earning laughter. Kiss to Martha's forehead, kisses to James and Harry's cheeks. Despite James' whine of being grown up, John saw the faint smile on his little brother's face.

Then someone stepped out from behind Martha. A surprise he didn't even notice in his pure excitement to see his siblings. John wouldn't be able to describe that feeling in his chest. That fluttering, that lightheaded feeling, the flush painting his cheeks and his wide eyes as he gazed at her. Locked eyes and stayed that way. Prettiest eyes he'd ever seen gazing back, a beautiful woman he'd seen a week ago before she went on a business trip... Didn't she?

"You lied to me." He breathed, expression not changing as he drifted around Harry, oblivious to the amused, fond looks his siblings all kept on him as his attention, focus reduced to _her, her, her_. "You told me you were on a business trip... France, was it? Or something of the sort?" John asked quietly as his hands slowly took hers. She immediately entwined her fingers with his, no hesitation, no mind to the chill of his fingers or her own in the cold air or the red of their noses. "Maybe I fibbed a little." she whispered, no surprised look to match his in her eyes. It was more than that. It was soft fondness, love, care. No fluttering in her gut or racing heart because she was used to it. Because he was home, he was safety, he was comfort.

"You're spending Christmas with us, Marty?" John asked quietly, slowly pressed their foreheads together, wide eyes searching hers as he waited patiently for his answer. She remembered the disappointed look on his face when she told him she'd be on a business trip until after Christmas. Martha decided it was worth it to fib. It was a lie from the beginning, a plan she and Patsy put together so they could decorate and shop together for their family. _God. Their family_...

 _Her husband_ , her mind supplied. He still got excited like a child on Christmas to see her. Or, perhaps, the better comparison was a dog when their owner returned home after a shopping trip, Martha thought fondly.

"I am. Let's go, Johnny."


	15. Holy Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes holidays were difficult due to memories of the past.

John could faintly remember it. Old things he didn't speak about to anyone. Not because it was bad, or because it was something that traumatized him, but because maybe, just maybe it felt better to just be... Selfish for a while. To keep such soft, warm memories that calmed him to himself. Frances knew, however - of course she did. She was _there_. It was nice to speak about her with Frances - it was. But maybe John liked being selfish with her memories.

Maybe that's why when the holidays rolled around and his mood dropped badly, when his dear friends - his family - asked him why, he gave them a smile and claimed seasonal depression. 

Maybe that's why when parties came up, groups for gifts, families getting together, he opted out. Told Frances he'd be home within the week, but not on Christmas.

Why he preferred to stay home and open his sketchbook. Why when Lafayette and Hercules visited to see how he was doing, they found him out of it. Eyes lidded, looked dazed, drawing finished. Staring at it. They would gently take the sketchbook, get a loose but there grip and a soft whimper of protest. Lafayette would lift him up, cradle him against his chest, John loosely wrapping his arms around his neck while his friend took him to bed and tucked him in, Herc locking the apartment up and making food for all three of them later. John always knew he could count on them when he needed them, when he couldn't take care of himself. When he couldn't find it in himself.

And his dreams were of all the same memories. Of Eleanor showing him videos. In the videos, a young Eleanor held a three year old John. The boy in a panda onesie, curly hair messy as he clung to his mother. Set down in front of the presents for him under the tree, squealing with laughter as he got his gifts of toys and clothes. Enjoyed the shirts and socks just as much as he enjoyed the toy dolls and cars. Giggled and laughed and clung close to his mother when she picked him up again, managed to thank her excitedly for the many gifts. Eleanor would hold him on her lap, pepper her son's face with kisses and listen to his laughter.

John would wake up lost, empty, confused. Had Lafayette there to pepper kisses to his cheek, help him straighten himself out, give him the gifts he brought back from the parties, from loved ones who didn't get to see him on the day, reminded him he had a plane flight in a few hours to go see his own family.

John's mind got clouded with memories, stuck staring off into space as he remembered, as he thought about it. As he fully felt that ache, that emptiness in himself as he missed her oh so much, thought about how many things happened that she should have been there for. But at least he had his friends. Everyone had their own roles in his life, but Lafayette and Hercules... They were like his family. His parents, in a way. Hercules was supportive. They all were, but him in particular. The one likely to loudly shout and cheer for him, to offer to deck someone for him rather than mindlessly jump into a fight like John himself would. Lafayette was kind. Again, they all were, but... He was motherly. He helped John get dressed some days, cleaned his face up with a warm cloth after he cried, fed him, took care of him when he couldn't - or worse - wouldn't take care of himself.

Even when everything went to shit, when things were difficult, when he was stuck on a repeat of old memories he'd best let go and speak to someone about, he at least had people there to help him out of it, slowly but surely.


	16. Joy to the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it feels like certain people are your world.

Peggy was left home a lot. She was quiet, she was lesser known, kept to herself more often than not. When her sisters and her were at school, she kept to herself. When they were at home, she kept to herself. When they went out, you guessed it, she kept to herself. While Eliza and Angelica won people's hearts, attracted attention, learned and shared thoughts and skills with everyone, Peggy... didn't. She read books, she studied hard, she wrote in her journal. All her thoughts, all her opinions went into her journal, all her skills remained secret until she was needed.

Into adulthood, Eliza married Alexander. Angelica didn't trust him, of course she didn't. she didn't trust anyone with her sisters, especially not someone as flirtatious and... Full of anger as Alexander. So ready to fight and flirt all the same. Such an asshole to people he hated, people he didn't approve of, people rude to those he loved. So flirtatious with... just about everything that moved. Men, women, both, neither. It didn't matter to him. If he considered them hot, fair game.

Eliza though... She put an end to it. He didn't fight as much. He didn't argue, or bicker, or flirt with everything as he did in the past. He flirted with Eliza, he fought for her. He'd get into fights with his group, yes, but it... Wasn't the same. The girls have seen him fight alongside his group before Eliza came into his life. They've seen him fight after.

Before, Alexander didn't hold back. If someone so much as looked at his friends wrong, they were getting decked. And when Alexander hit someone, he put his whole body into it. If he punched someone, his weight went into it, force no one knew he really had. He could knock someone out in seconds if he needed to. Liked feeling bones crack under his fists and blood spill under his force, ached, just as eager for it just as his best friend John.

Before, why did he need to hold back? He didn't. He flirted with anything that moved, hit on his own friends let alone strangers. No reason to hold back.

But then he'd started dating Eliza and he... Stopped. When John picked a fight, Alexander didn't join him. He'd grab onto John, hold tight and prevent him from fighting. When girls flirted, when boys slipped him his number, when anyone showed any sort of attention that way, he turned his back on them. He told them he was in a relationship. A happy one.

And Peggy... she trusted him. More than anyone, strangely enough. Maybe that's why he was the one she dared share her thoughts with, the one she'd talk about book after book they've both read together, trade ones they haven't read. Why he helped tutor her when her grades went down and why she'd treat him to coffee as a thank you. Why she told him what she knew and got to hear him tell her his own thoughts and knowledge in turn. She confided in Alexander because he wouldn't tell. Because he didn't enjoy her company for how useful she was, but because they were friends, and she wasn't invisible to him. When Christmas rolled around and Peggy quieted down again, Alexander was the one to go over and sit by her. When he took his seat beside her on the couch, she leaned on him just slightly, grinned as Eliza and Angelica stepped over in turn, Angie leaning over the back of the couch to kiss Peggy's cheek as Eliza sat beside Alex and curled under his other arm, smiling sweetly as she took Peggy's hand.

Okay, so maybe it was because of him that she was less invisible than she spent so many years of her life, but she was never so joyous as she was around Christmas, opening the gift from Alex to find a new book she hadn't read that they'd share, over and over. Journals, pens, pencils, books.

It was just how the two of them worked, and he was a big part of her world.


	17. Silver Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to try and find some fun in the festivities, even if you move around a lot.

Alexander moved around a lot. He'd done so many jobs, some more well paying than others. Of course, if it was a job with a reason - an abuser of sorts, he didn't accept the pay. He wouldn't just let things like that slide if he could do something about it, even if his way was more... Unusual, possibly, than most. He simply removed the abuser from the picture altogether. Alexander didn't see the issue - the one _causing_ the issue was gone. Why be upset?

One, specifically. John Laurens. A young man Alexander was hired to kill the abuser of. His best friend Lafayette had hired him to get rid of two people. To help John - save him, possibly.  Francis wasn't good to John. Not one bit. Henry wasn't a good father to him in the slightest either. So maybe Alexander didn't understand the emotions, he didn't understand in the slightest why John panicked when Alex showed up on his doorstep to announce what he'd done, why he'd paced, worried, generally freaked out altogether when Alex told him who exactly hired him as well, assured him he didn't accept pay when it came to abusers.

Somehow, though Alex himself couldn't say how, John had grown attached to Alexander, and Alex may or may not have gotten himself an attachment to John in turn. It worried him. What would happen if someone came for him? Came for John because they had found out? Alexander had to leave. Assured John he'd come back. Probably. No promises, however - not something he couldn't guarantee. But regardless, he always kept his clients safe, and just maybe he took a bit more joy in checking on John once in a while. John was generally safe, though he was always visibly excited to see Alex. Happy he'd checked in, happy to see he was alive and _hopefully_ well.

One day when Alexander had visited, John had a tree up. It was December, he could understand holidays. It had been a while since he'd celebrated such things - had he ever? - so it was a little surprising to see John go all out. Tree, lights, mistletoe, all sorts of decorations. John once again lit up when he saw Alex in his doorway, hugged him and dragged him into his home and talking to him about this or that. It was nice. John seemed happy to simply talk to him, to see him, to hold his hand even if they were such small gestures.

It was a few hours. John managed to get Alex to watch a few movies with him, got him hot cocoa, kept holding his hand when he could. Eventually asked Alexander if - in the case that he had to leave - he could come back on the twenty-fifth. If he wasn't leaving, if he could stay until then. Alexander was quiet, thinking. Pros and cons. Then John gave him those puppy dog eyes, a pout, a quiet plea. It's only a few days away, Alexander, please? and who was Alexander to say no?

So he gave into staying a few days. It was only a few days, what harm could it do? What Alex realized though, was John was going to make him join in the festivities. Kisses his cheek whenever they're in the doorway, baking cookies together, watching Christmas movies, Christmas shopping. Alexander decided maybe he liked Christmas a little. Laughter all around, soft Christmas music through loudspeakers, crunching snow under their feet, little gifts that didn't mean anything, because the meaning came from what you thought and who you thought of when you bought it.

John bought Alexander a reindeer headband, put it on him himself. Bought himself a light up Rudolph nose _as well_ as a headband and grinned at the tiny, crooked and amused grin Alexander gave him as he put it on and watched it light up. They walked around the rest of the mall that way, exploring and enjoying the festivities together. Didn't take off the nose or the headband.

And when Christmas rolled around, John presented Alexander with a... Questionable colorful sweater. Smiled sheepishly and said he bought it for him before he even showed up, that he's... Kind of part of the family now, and to John, the sweater made it official. Alexander put on the sweater, marveled at how soft it felt despite it's almost rough fabric appearance, and he gave John a quick kiss. Thanked him for the ridiculous, hideous sweater and smiled at the laughter that followed.


	18. Sleigh Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Santa when December rolled around was tradition for some people.

Eliza loved Christmas. She did. Everything about it, from the bright lights hung everywhere to the joyous laughter from children and parents alike to the white powdery snow that stuck to everything. It made her laugh, smile, feel like everything was just... Perfect.

When she was little, they stayed true to traditions rather well. Every year, without fail, Philip and Catherine would take their three daughters to see Santa. Of course, it was a mall Santa, but such a small gesture meant a lot to a child. Peggy tended to opt out after she cried the first time she was put on Santa's knee. Too uncomfortable, apparently. Angelica had done it year after year until she herself decided her list was best written down and given to her parents, rather. Eliza, sweet, small Eliza, was always excited to see Santa and write crayon lists for the north pole and go for sleigh rides with Angie, Peggy and their parents.

Now that she was older, married, had kids of her own, she didn't do such things anymore. Didn't need to - she knew the truth. She wasn't sad about it. She simply became more... Observant. It didn't take long to find out her own father Philip was 'Santa'. 

And since Alexander's... Mistake, they hadn't had a real Christmas together in... Years? It just wasn't complete unless they were together. And they weren't. Angie was overseas. Peggy just... Went off the grid, no one knew where she was. Lafayette was back home in France for the time being. John was in South Carolina. Alexander... She didn't know. She wasn't sure she wanted to. Hercules was the only one who stuck around - apparently his family lived close enough that he could take a day trip on Christmas, which is what he opted to do to give himself time to find, make and wrap gifts for them.

Hercules was a good man, one of little Philip's uncles. He loved the boy dearly, treated Eliza like a sister and it made her happy. After a few days of melancholy from Eliza, he sat her down and asked what was up. It took a moment, a gentle push and reassurance that no, he didn't mind. She was family and he was there for her. So she spilled all her woes of no one being there for Christmas - other than him and her own children, of course - how they hadn't done it in years. Herc listened patiently, pulled her into a hug after and promised he'd make it extra special for her. Eliza simply clung to him and nodded.

So on Christmas day a little over a week later, walking downstairs to that sight was such a surprise. Her breath caught, her eyes wide. Speechless. Alexander dressed as Santa sans the beard sat on the couch with Philip on his right side, held close to his father with a wide smile, Lafayette by his other side with a grin on his face, chatting away with his friend, Hercules waiting leaned against the wall by the stairs. Peggy and Angelica both, elf outfits, sat there with Angie and James, whispered stories of Christmasses past to the children. Everyone short of Angelica, Peggy and Alexander wearing silly Christmas sweaters.

Eliza slowly walked down further, Herc finally looking up and smiling at her. She was grateful he didn't outright announce her. She needed to process, she needed to get her thoughts in order. "John'll be down a bit later." He whispered to her, causing her wide eyed stare to drift to him. "How?" she murmured back, and Herc simply hugged her gently, pecked the top of her head, whispered, "Magic," before pushing her gently into the room. It lifted her heart to see how joyous everyone looked to see her. And if Eliza started crying when she hugged Alexander tightly, no one mentioned it.


	19. Humbug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping gifts could be fun too.

Philip liked wrapping gifts. It was so fun to him! The best part, naturally, was the cutting paper, the attempts to wrap, the joy on people's faces when they got to open his both poorly wrapped and well wrapped gifts for his family.

One thing Philip loved about the process, was the people he got to spend time with doing it. Not Frances, Not Georges or Theo, not William. No. When Philip wrapped gifts, he got a few extra special helpers to choose what wrapping paper suited what present. Angie got to be in charge of cutting the paper the right size, Philip in charge of the tape, Eliza and Alex teamed up to pick which wrapping paper went with which gift. Usually, James, John and Will liked to keep to themselves when wrapping, but sometimes they'd all work together in the same room, trading advice and wrapping papers back and forth.

Those were Philip's favorite moments. Eliza and Alex would help James, John and Will pick out their wrapping paper, bows and stickers too, Christmas music playing from Philip's laptop as they all teamed up to wrap the multitudes of gifts for their family, friends and family friends.

Little Pip was just a toddler, but Philip was happy to hold his youngest brother in his lap and get his help with wrapping the presents, enjoying the laughter spilling from everyone, the relief and joy and excitement when they all finished wrapping the gifts. The team effort to take them downstairs and get everything settled in their place under the tree. But the best part certainly wasn't the wrapping or the time spent with his siblings. It was his favorite, yes, but that didn't mean it was the best. The best part was sitting there on Christmas day, watching his family open everyone's gifts, his siblings look at him in surprise for the fact he'd also gotten each one of their gifts wrapped too. Everyone crying in joy with the presents and hugging each other and that warm, safe feeling of love that settles over everyone.

 _That's_ the best.


	20. Ms. Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises on Christmas could be amazing too.

Alexandra, Joanna and Elijah talked about this. They'd sat down, had a long, _detailed_ conversation about it - about their _future_. Jo cried, while Lexie and Eli simply held her for a moment before the three wrapped up the conversation, spent the entire night wrapped tight in each other's arms, simply listening to each other's breathing before they dropped off.

One of the girls would be the mother, naturally. Ultimately, they decided Joanna could be the mother. Lexie would have to go without working much anymore if she was the one to be pregnant, and she'd lose her absolute mind if she had to do such a thing. That was fine by Jo - she didn't mind whatsoever. It made her happy anyway. They went to their friends, announced their choice to their friends and smiled as they were all joyful for the trio. It was nice, it made them so, so happy to see how happy everyone else was.

When she'd finally gotten pregnant, discovered it after throwing up in the bathroom at work and deciding to use her break to run to the convenience store for a test, Jo went home from work early after puppy dog eying Mr. Washington into letting her go home.

When she got home, she sent Eli a text. When Eli got home on the basis of this being an 'emergency' so said Jo, he was yanked into their bedroom while Jo squealed and laughed and damn near screamed her joy until he calmed her down, hands on her cheeks and asked why she was losing it, why she was so happy. She announced she was pregnant and they both cried for an hour together, clinging to each other.

When the tears stopped and the two were simply sniffling, trying to get themselves together, Jo pleaded that they don't tell Lexie. Not yet. She has a plan. A good, amazing, ridiculous plan to tell their wife. Told Elijah her plan and grinned as he laughed. Then the plan was in effect.

And on Christmas day, Alexandra woke up alone. She was confused, went downstairs to find her wife and husband. Surprised to see Elijah sitting cross legged in front of Jo on the floor, both in pjs. Joanna had a ribbon wrapped around her waist, tied off into a bow in front of her, even had another bow stuck to it. Lexie slowly walked down, froze when the two looked up at her, but in the face of those soft, welcoming smiles, she went and sat down by them, softly asked why Jo was wearing so many bows, looked almost like a Christmas nightmare in her color scheme and grinned at the pout Jo gave her.

It took everything in Lexie to not tackle Joanna against the carpet with the announcement, but nothing could've stopped the tears of joy.


	21. Peppermint Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The festivities and snow could be such a mess sometimes, but they could be messes together.

"Wait up!" Alexander had whined as Lafayette continued walking, didn't even notice their boyfriend had stopped for whatever reason. Really, Alexander had seen something in a shop window that made him come to a halt, but when he looked up, they were a good distance away and that just wouldn't do.

He ran after them, and of course, as cliché and cheesy as it was, as Alexander found himself cursing the fact it had snowed the night before, his boots slid last minute on the frosted sidewalk, leaving him to shriek as he not only caught up with his datemate - he collided with them, sending both of them down into the pile of snow all shoveled to the side of the sidewalk. Silence overcame them as Alexander and Lafayette both blinked sat in the snow and stared at each other for a moment as the snow soaked their clothes before Lafayette burst into laughter, leading Alex to start cackling against his shoulder as well.

It took a moment for them to get back to their feet, Lafayette playfully shoving Alex back into the snow and grinning proudly at the indignant shout as they stood up before offering him a hand. He got back to his feet with their help, shared a softer smile as they both started to head back home, held hands the rest of the way so Alexander wouldn't slip, or maybe so if Alex stopped, Lafayette wouldn't go ahead of him.

Either way. When they got home, the playfulness and affection didn't stop. They both got changed, curled up in their bed in their softest festive pjs, simply warming up via each other rather than blankets or a fire or... Other methods, before Lafayette sat up, simply dropping Alex back into the pillow as they announced they wanted cookies. Alexander flicked their cheek for being dropped, but got up all the same so the two could work together and make some Christmas cookies. It was Alexander's idea to watch a movie after - to find their warmest blanket and curl up together under it with cookies and Christmas movies and maybe hot cocoa. Alex didn't even have to pretend he wasn't warmed and just about melted right there as Lafayette halted their baking simply to make hot cocoa for them both, and Lafayette didn't bother hiding the wide, loving smile on their face as Alex took the courtesy to write letters on each of the cookies.

They both took meticulous care to place each cookie individually on the plate to not mess up the order, and Lafayette just had to take a picture of it before they ate any - proof that Alexander was as much of a dork as they say he is, Lafayette had claimed, though the true reason was they wanted to remember the sweet gesture despite how small and silly it was. And while they cuddled up together, Alex was the one to pick some cheesy festive romance movie for the two to watch, not even noticing the snow once again starting to fall outside their window.

_L o v e y o u ♡_


	22. Kiss Me Babe, It's Christmas Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistletoe always made for good shenanigans and love.

John loved his boyfriend with all his heart. He did. Hercules just seemed to make the world just... Light up simply from being around. He was the mature fatherly friend of their group, took care of the idiots when they couldn't take care of themselves.

Where John hated holidays like Christmas and Halloween, Hercules... He made it bearable. John could remember that first Christmas he spent with Hercules. Where Herc decorated his whole home and invited John over. Alexander and Lafayette came as well, of course. They were all family. They did just about everything together. Christmas shopping with each other, suggestions and advice on what to get each other and their friends, the decorations, the laughter, the light. But that first Christmas together, with Laf and Alex laughing away as they chatted and waited for John to show up on Christmas day, had spent some of Christmas Eve in South Carolina before flying back, slept the first night home in his own place.

But when John walked into his boyfriend's home that day, saw the tree all decorated, lit up, had the four decorations up the four of them bought together to symbolize each of them. Lights even strewn along the walls inside, not to mention the stockings, the paper decorations, dimmed lights, laughter from Alex and Laf. The smile from Hercules as he got up and walked over, pressed a kiss to his forehead in greeting before leading him over to the couch to sit with them. The four of them spent the whole day all cuddling together watching cheesy Christmas movies, no space between any of them. When Herc got up for hot cocoa, John saw the mistletoe hanging above the door.

This Christmas, Hercules hadn't given him any kisses. At all. Pecks on the cheeks or forehead, sure, but John was getting tired of it. He even got Alexander and Lafayette's help for such a sweet, silly plan. Lafayette hung up mistletoe in that exact same place before settling down on John's couch to watch Christmas movies. This year, it was John's home they spent Christmas at. He had everyone's help to decorate, the tradition of buying gifts together and getting suggestions and working together to make everything perfect. This year, the Schuyler sisters and Eliza's girlfriend Maria would be joining them.

John, while everyone conversed and laughed and watched movies, waited leaning against the door frame for Hercules to show up finally from his last minute shopping. When he did, the first thing John did was grab the collar of his shirt after Herc closed the door, causing him to raise his eyebrow with an amused smile, everyone going quiet as their amused looks went to the couple. "Can I help you?" Herc asked sweetly, teasingly as John stared at him, looked irritated if nothing else. But that wasn't it. Not in the slightest. He simply yanked Herc down into a rough kiss from the action, though the kiss quickly turned soft, arms going around each other as they simply soaked in the affection and love in the gesture. And when they pulled back finally, John actually looked dazed, Herc not far off before John smiled so softly, jokingly sang softly, "Kiss me babe, It's Christmas time..." as everyone laughed or went back to chatting and Alex cheered him on.


	23. Winter Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being snowed in can be nice too.

They'd never expected it to snow so hard. Lafayette had seen lots of snow before, many years of snowy Decembers in France. But on their first year in America, staying with their first friend in America, they were in awe. It was late, late into the night and Lafayette set themself up by the window, watched in awe. The snow had already reached the bottom of the window! It didn't seem they'd be able to leave home for quite a while. That was fine by them, however. They'd happily spend the holidays curled up in front of the TV with Hercules, watching movie after movie with him and drinking hot chocolate.

It didn't take long for them to decide to go to bed, though. It was freezing cold, the fire in Hercules' place was out and there was no point staying up so late when there was nothing they could do. So they curled up in the guest room and went to sleep.

It wasn't long until they were stirring awake at four AM though, tired and lost. It was so cold, they were shivering even under their blankets, they realized. Glanced at the window and realized it was all lit up from the white snow outside. It was so beautiful and pure, untouched like this. Glistening under the light of the moon from a cloudless sky. They took a moment to admire it, couldn't help it. It wasn't often they stopped to appreciate such things like that, but the scene was absolutely gorgeous, it was worth the pause. But after the moment was over, they realized they were still shivering, crossed over into very real shaking.

They took the small green throw off the bed and wrapped it around their shoulders - something cute with reindeer Hercules had bought to make Lafayette's room festive.

With a shudder, lips pressed to a thin line, they walked out of the room, looked around. Noted the lack of lights aside from the tree and the silence before they noted the clock hung on the wall telling them what time it was.

They simply naturally walked into Hercules's room, seeing him sprawled out and asleep in his bed, and they couldn't help a small, fond smile. They liked their companion, they did. He was such a kind, good man, and he looked so happy, so at peace in his sleep. They strolled over and gently patted his shoulder, however, a soft attempt at waking him up that seemed to work as Hercules mumbled incoherently before his eyes half opened. He blinked slowly for a moment, and they didn't speak. His gaze turned to Lafayette, looking them over. Considering. They didn't mind. He noted their shivering, their blanket, the less than pleased look on their face and he easily shifted to the side, tossed the edge of the blankets down for them to lay down and make themself comfortable.

Shifting to the side didn't seem to matter to them, however, as they tossed the throw on top of the blanket and laid down, they immediately wrapped their arms around Hercules and cuddled close. Physical affection was nothing new between the two, though it always got both their hearts racing with dumb, lovestruck smiles on their faces when it happened. He still wrapped an arm around Lafayette and whispered a little, "Merry Christmas Eve, Laffy." before he dropped off. They murmured it right back before following after, simply dreaming happily of each other with smiles on their faces even in their sleep.


	24. Don't Worry Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'll always have people to pick you up when you fall back down.

John was a mess. It was always this way. Since the mess that was his family, since being kicked out, since taking his four siblings into his home in New York as his mother and father filed for divorce finally. His siblings went back home with Eleanor, and John's health went down the drain. His mental health, at least. And somewhat physical, though he still went on runs, he still exercised and drank a lot of water and ate healthy food most of the time. He at least tried.

This particular Christmas though, it seemed almost... Bittersweet. He was happy, he was! All his friends were off with their families, and his family was back home, happy and content in the big old house they spent their lives in! John, he opted to stay home in his apartment. His small, cold, lonely apartment... John shook his head a little, sighing as he stood up. He'd had enough of moping around. It was Christmas Eve, why waste it there? Caesar had food and water and had recently gone out, so John didn't have to worry about his dog's needs for a while, seeing as the big dog was asleep in his bedroom. So with a lack of responsibility and an empty feeling in him, John went out.

Two hours later, he got a text. He was out of it, didn't fully read who sent it, just wanted to start drinking away his woes again. Simply read the text itself that was asking where he'd gotten off to. Well, there was an emoji in the name, so he typed back the name of the bar with actual help from the bartender and went right back to his work of seeing just how much whiskey he could down before he got sick. He'd being doing well so far, at least.

Half an hour later, with a good amount of whiskey and even some vodka down, he was throwing up in the poorly kept bathroom of the bar, the stall door hanging open as he coughed and gagged, emptied everything he drank and everything he'd eaten throughout the day. His put together appearance came apart surprisingly quick, jacket hanging off one of his shoulders, braided hair loose with a few locks having escaped it.

Suddenly soft, gentle hands were brushing his hair out of his face, fixing the braid slowly and carefully as he coughed, heaved and got it all out. A low, displeased moan escaped him as he rested his head on his arm resting on the toilet seat. A hand swatted his shoulder, a stern voice telling him to sit up, you don't know how filthy that is.

It was as if he simply blinked and he was suddenly in a car, two voices talking softly. Two voices he recognized, so he let himself relax and curl up a little in the back seat, drunk and exhausted. Then he blinked again and he was laid in bed, those same soft, gentle hands brushing some hair out of his face, soft lips against his forehead. The kind voice telling him he needs to get some sleep, to sleep on his side just in case. Something about it had John tearing up, and when that voice asked why, he sucked in a sharp breath. It took a while to calm him down, to get him to stop stifling little, sharp sobs into his pillow before wheezing out that he missed his family. Mumbled incoherently about his cold apartment, the empty place in his chest, the loneliness before he passed out.

When John awoke, his head was pounding, mouth dry, but feeling better than he really expected. He groaned loudly into his pillow, curled up, dead set on going to sleep. Screamed - actually _screamed_ \- when something heavy was dropped on him out of nowhere.

He flailed, sat up quickly, knocking that weight off onto the bed. Blinked slowly, just as slowly registering the giggling little girl he called his sister laying on the bed with a wide smile, his other sister Martha standing beside the bed with a smug grin on her face. "Get up, lazy, we're all waiting on you now!" Martha scolded, ruffling her brother's hair. When she went to walk out, John's hand snatched her wrist, stopping her right there. The freckly woman looked back at her big brother, ready to tease him or scold him further, but stopped on seeing that confused, fearful look on his face. "We're all?" John repeated quietly. Martha almost hesitated before tugging her hand back, pecked his forehead and whispered, "I'll be right back."

While she was gone, John stared at his lap until Mary crawled into his lap, the ten year old sitting herself there, legs around his waist and arms around his neck as she cuddled into him, giggling when John lightly tickled along her sides before kissing the top of her head and hugging her close, breathing a soft, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart..."

This time, the one that came into the room wasn't Martha. John gasped, which prompted Mary to move, sitting beside him and waving at their mother with that sweet smile. Eleanor spoke to her softly, French, knew John didn't know it, and Mary nodded and left the room.

"Mama." John murmured, breath caught when she took his hand and laughed softly. "You're a very messy drunk, darling. Unless that was a one time thing?" John's eyes widened at the words, processing it. Suddenly the blurry face, soft hands and sweet voice had a face to go with it and when Eleanor saw those tears in Johns eyes, she hugged him close, rubbing his back as he breathed shakily against her shoulders. "Th- I- I thought you were gonna spend Christmas back home.." John mumbled against her, sighed shakily as he felt her start to undo the messy braid of his hair and run her fingers through it. "You know, we were going to. But it wasn't complete and you said you didn't want to go back home, baby boy. We made do." When another hand took his, John didn't even question it. Gave it a firm squeeze and smiled weakly against Eleanor at the returned squeeze.

"Merry Christmas Franny, mama..." a kiss was pressed to his shoulder, another against his head, and he finally leaned back to smile at his two girls, teary eyed, broken open and letting it be instead of putting up the usual defenses. He didn't need to. They didn't come all this way because he was a mess or anything of the sort. They came this way because he said he didn't want to go to his birth home for Christmas. They came all this way because they wanted to spend Christmas with him. John got a hug from Frances as well, sighed as he squeezed his sister and nuzzled her slightly, murmuring words of affection for his family.

"Now come on, baby. The others want to see you too. Marty included." That was what got John to lean back quickly, eyes wide and practically sparkling, and an excited grin at his lips, may as well have been glowing. "Then you two have to get out, I gotta get dressed!"


	25. Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is a time of love, laughter, families and friends getting together.

When Frances and Eleanor left the room finally, John rushed to get dressed, pulled out some good jeans and his Christmas sweater and Christmas themed socks. They were soft, he liked them. When he was finally dressed, he kind of observed himself before grabbing his phone and heading out, pausing in the bathroom for two aspirin pills and a drink of water from the tap before he finally went out to the living room, froze in the doorway.

Alexander and Eliza sat on the couch, Eliza on his lap as the two cuddled and spoke softly, Lafayette and Hercules sat side by side next to them, Laf's arms slung over the back of the couch behind them as they spoke with Hercules, smiles on their faces. Mary, Harry and James sitting together in front of the couch - and thus in front of Martha and Eleanor - watching Christmas movies as his mother and sister spoke. Frances by the door with Marty. John's gaze went over all of them, surprised they were even here - he didn't even put up a tree! - but then his gaze landed on Martha and everything stopped. He couldn't hear them, he couldn't see them. His world reduced to his teenage crush, his wonderful girlfriend that had been in South Carolina visiting her own family, and here she was.

john shook his head, shaking himself out of it when music started playing. Alexander and Hercules wolf whistled, his siblings and Lafayette all laughing as Frances started playing 'holly jolly Christmas' from her phone, smirking over at John. And of course, as it reached the mistletoe part, Marty's gaze went up, and so did John's. Saw the mistletoe he most certainly did _not_ hang there in the doorway hung right above his head. Of course. Of course they'd do this. He bet it was Lafayette's doing. Or Alexander's, actually. Maybe Frances's...

Lost in his thoughts, frowning, puffed out one flushed cheek, he didn't even see Martha walking over until a soft hand rested against his jaw, raising his head and lips connected with his and suddenly nothing else mattered.

Finally, after a few minutes of kisses and giggling against each other's lips as Alex whistled again, John was sat down on the ground by the kids, he himself in front of Lafayette with Martha right by his side, Frances leaning over the back of the couch and joining in watching the movie. They all spent the rest of the morning in general comfortable silence, enjoying movie after movie, the smiles, the sadness, the happy endings no matter what. They were so nice no matter how cheesy they were.

Later, as Lafayette and John were in the kitchen, working together to make hot cocoa for everyone, he asked why. Why they were here, when they came, when they had time to move his furniture and everything. They laughed, pressed a soft kiss to John's cheek causing him to laugh as well and told him, they arrived some time after he'd left. Martha and her spare key was a blessing, so they moved everything while he was asleep. They themself had gone with Eleanor to pick John up. Now the other voice made sense.

And why they were here? Their face softened as they cupped his cheeks in their hands, forced him to meet their eyes as they spoke, voice low, firm, but soft in a way. We'd never leave you alone on Christmas, John Laurens. Never. "Me, 'ercules and Alexander showing up? It was Alexander's idea. We got here after they did. Thought someone had broken in. But non, it was your family." They explained, and John's face softened. Once again those cursed tears burned as they kissed his forehead and hugged him close, smiling at his sigh against their shoulder. "We are family, John. We would not leave you all alone on Christmas." John nodded a little, clung to him. When they walked back out, they passed out the hot chocolate, and after making sure, completely on purpose, that John had whipped cream on his lips, he pressed a kiss to Alexander's cheek, pulling away with a loud smack, everyone including John laughing at the dumbfounded look on Alex's face before he smirked and did the same right back to John.


	26. A Very Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, you always had to clean up your messes when the holidays were over.

It was a bit... Messy, to say the _least_. Wrapper and boxes and paper strewn about the living room, fire died out - though Lafayette was already on getting it going again - toys strewn everywhere as well. A strange sense of melancholy to him now that Christmas was over. But that feeling in his heart was quickly extinguished at the sight he walked downstairs to, still in his baggy pjs. Were they even his? He knew the shirt was Hercules'. The pants may have been Alexander's, he couldn't say. John simply went downstairs and leaned against the rail a bit as he quietly watched the kids play, lips pressed in a thin line, eyes lidded. A more sleepy look on his face than anything as he watched them laugh and play and chatter.

He jumped when arms slid around his waist, breath caught in his throat before he exhaled in a shudder. He didn't know why it startled him so much, but that smile that greeted him as he leaned back made it all okay. Martha pressed a soft kiss to his lips and shoulder, simply held her husband before he turned and pecked her lips in return, quietly asked where Eliza was. "She's still in bed," She murmured right back. "Alex is at work, Herc's in the kitchen. I'm headin' off to buy groceries soon as I can get 'Liza up." John snorted softly and rubbed their noses together. "I'm sure you can manage." He teased softly, smiling at Martha's quiet laughter before she released him to go back to what she was originally going to do before she saw him at the bottom of the stairs.

This time when arms wrapped around his waist, he saw it coming, saw Lafayette out of the corner of his eye. He didn't say anything this time, simply leaned back into him as he watched Philip, Angie, Georges, Frances and William all play together. Five kids should've been difficult to deal with, but... It seemed so much easier with all of them together. It was bearable. Fun, even. " _Bonjour, mon amour_." Lafayette murmured as he saw Hercules walk into the room. It was nice to be squished between them, but John was quiet for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the two being close while they both shared a couple kisses before the freckled man squirmed out from between the two. "Take your make out session elsewhere, I wanna play with the kids." He stated with a little grin. Teasing them for all it's worth.

The two simply laughed and went upstairs. To do what, he wasn't sure. Nor did he currently care. A little hand tugging on his caught his attention and he looked down, softened to see Pip holding his hand, Georges and Fran looking at him expectantly. Well, he couldn't very well back down on his word, could he? John smiled so lovingly at them. Gave all five of them a kiss on the forehead and a murmured greeting before he finally sat down to play with them. John was the first to get sleepy again though, laughing softly as his ten year old pushed him lightly, the girl pointing to the couch. He got it. She could be so like Martha sometimes, though Martha would have likely taken a nicer route than simply putting her hands on his chest and nearly pushing him over. So John went and laid down on the couch, drifted off to the sounds of the kids playing.

When Eliza and Martha came downstairs, it melted their hearts altogether to see John so peacefully asleep, though with Frances curled up against his left side, pressed between him and the couch by then, just as peacefully asleep. Martha took a picture and the two left to go to the store. Lafayette and Hercules came back down after a while, simply to see both Philip and Georges on him too. Georges had rearranged Frances so he was pressed into the couch and she was on top of John, a blanket tossed over John that he tucked her under, Philip laying against the couch as well with his head on John's leg. All four asleep. William, he chose to stay up. "Wanted to keep Angie company." He hummed, wrapped an arm around his 'sister' and pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her giggle madly.

Lafayette took his own picture of the group on the couch. The day went by sleepy, quiet, relaxed. When Alexander returned home, he saw Lafayette and Hercules sitting in two of the recliners in the living room, Angie on Lafayette's lap and William on Hercules'. He smiled so softly and yet again a picture was taken of each of them. John was the one he woke up by peppering kisses to his face though, smiled at the sleepy, dazed look on his face and gave him a quick kiss. "Did you have a good day, love?" Alexander asked him quietly, John smiling sleepily at him and carefully moving one hand to run through his hair. "Mhmm... Better now that I've seen you finally too." He murmured, overjoyed with the quiet laughter against his lips from Alexander and the soft, "Good. I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
